McDowell says, “It isn’t a matter of not being able to find things to appreciate about your kids; it’s about disciplining yourself to speak up and tell your kids what you see — to give them honest praise for their effort.” He offers several practical examples:

* “Thank you for getting your homework done on time.”
* “I appreciate it when you take your dirty dishes to the sink after we eat.”
* “Thank you for putting the car in the garage for me without being asked.”
* “I appreciate you for spending time with your little sister when you wanted to be out with your friends.”

However, McDowell throws in a bit of caution. “Unless your young people are absolutely convinced that you accept them for who they are, your praise and appreciation can become manipulative. Appreciation without acceptance may prompt a student to relate to you on a performance basis.” While giving praise is necessary to your child’s well-being, make sure they also feel secure and accepted for who they are. They need to know you will love them whether they succeed or not.

Let’s look at your current state of good manners.  Ask yourself the following questions as they relate to people with whom you regularly interact. Each of these can be answered by a simple yes or no…be honest with yourself and tally your score at the end.

•  Do you smile at friends and family members when you come in contact with them?
•  Do you look people in the eye when you are talking with them?
•  Do you let your parents know that you appreciate them and all that they do for you?
•  Do you offer to help with chores around the house instead of waiting to be asked?
•  Do you show respect by consistently saying “please” and “thank you” to those around you?
•  Do you show your respect for your teachers and school staff and thank them for their efforts to teach you important things that you need to know?
•  Do you speak to teachers by respectively addressing them as Mr., Ms. or Dr.?
•  Do you show your appreciation to your friends’ parents/guardians when they have you in their home or help you in some special way?
•  Do have a firm and welcoming handshake that you readily share when meeting  someone new for the first time?
•  Would most of your friends characterize you as a really nice person?

Okay, take your time and go back over your answers to this little test, recording your yes and no responses…be honest, no one is looking, and an honest score can tell you if you need to make some improvements or not.  No one makes a 100 on this, but a 70 to 90 is a good score and indicates that, with just a little practice here and there, you could become a well-mannered young person.  A score of 50 or 60 means you need to do some work and pay a lot more attention to how you are treating the people around you. Below 50…well, there may still be hope for you, but you better get on it quickly or you are not likely to have many friends left before too long.

– See more at: http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-young-people/the-magic-of-manners/#sthash.mdDhHHdH.dpuf

Here are five ways to increase our listening abilities:

1. BE FULLY IN THE MOMENT

Have you ever been speaking to someone and found that they are distracted by something and not really listening to you? You probably thought this was annoying, frustrating, and disrespectful. At that point you may have even become angry or shut the conversation down.

When someone is speaking it is vitally important to be fully present and in the moment with them. If something else is on your mind, like a call you have to make, or a text you need to answer, let them know, do what you need to do, and when you are finished let them know you are ready to listen.

When listening pay attention not only to the words but the tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. This will give you information that will be as important as the words themselves.

2. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES

Whether you agree with the speaker or even have an interest in what they have to say, what they are saying is important to them. Imagine yourself in their situation, wanting only to have someone listen to them. When they are speaking, make an effort to think of where they are coming from and why. Imagine what their life is like and what struggles they might be facing. People will appreciate that you made the effort to understand and really hear them.

3. PICK UP KEY POINTS AND LET THE SPEAKER KNOW YOU DID

Many people have trouble focusing on what someone is saying especially if they speak for longer than a minute or so. It is easy for our attention to drift to something else that we might find more interesting. If that’s the case, try to pick up a few key points in the conversation. After they finish talking, let them know that you heard them by mentioning the key points you heard them say and ask them to clarify anything that you did not understand. You will be forgiven for not being able to follow the whole conversation if the person talking believes that you made an honest effort.

4. PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING

Most people are thinking of how they are going to reply when someone is talking. Instead of doing that, try to focus completely on what the person is saying. Pretend that you will be tested on how much of what they were saying you heard and understood. A good exercise to practice is to sit down with a family member or a good friend and practice simply giving feedback to them of what you heard them say. You will notice that it gets much easier to focus on their words when you aren’t worrying about how you will respond.

5. DEVELOP CURIOSITY, AN OPEN MIND, AND A DESIRE FOR CONTINUOUS GROWTH

People who are naturally curious see conversations as learning opportunities. They are always looking to discover or learn something new and see everyone they talk to as having the potential to teach them something. They are open to the idea that their own way of seeing things may not be the only, or necessarily the best, way and don’t feel the need to always defend their own point of view or way of seeing the world.

https://www.fastcompany.com/3036026/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/5-ways-to-improve-your-listening-skills

5-4-3-2-1 GROUNDING EXERCISE

The “54321 game” is a common sensory awareness grounding exercise that many find a helpful tool to relax or get through difficult moments.

PROCEDURE

1.     Describe 5 things you see in the room.

2.     Name 4 things you can feel (“my feet on the floor” or “the air in my nose”)

3.     Name 3 things you hear right now (“traffic outside”)

4.     Name 2 things you can smell right now (or 2 smells you like)

5.     Name 1 good things about yourself

You should feel calmer and more at ease by the end of the exercise. Repeat the 5 steps more than once if needed. Try out the technique in different situations, you may find it works well for insomnia, anxiety, cravings when quitting smoking or for general relaxation.

During the 1925 serum run to Nome,also known as the “Great Race ofMercy“, 20 mushers and about 150 sled dogs relayed diphtheria antitoxin 674 miles (1,085 km) by dog sled across the U.S. territory of Alaska in five and a half days, saving the small city of Nome and the surrounding communities from an incipient epidemic.

Both the mushers and their dogs wereportrayed as heroes in the newlypopular medium of radio, andreceived headline coverage innewspapers across the United States. Balto, the lead sled dog on the finalstretch into Nome, became the mostfamous canine celebrity of the eraafter Rin Tin Tin, and his statue is apopular tourist attraction in New York City‘s Central Park. The publicity alsohelped spur an inoculation campaign inthe U.S. that dramatically reduced thethreat of the disease.

The sled dog was the primary means of transportation and communication in subarctic communities around the world, and the race became both the last great hurrah and the most famous event in the history of mushing, before the first aircraft inthe 1930s and then the snowmobile in the 1960s drove the dog sled almost into extinction. The resurgence of recreational mushing in Alaska since the 1970s is a direct result of the tremendous popularity of the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, which honors the history of dog mushing with many traditions that commemorate the serum run.

http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/1925+serum+run+to+Nome

http://www.mensa.org/workout

Morse made the first public demonstration of his telegraph by sending a message from the Supreme Court Chamber in the U.S.Capitol to the B&O Railroad “outer depot” (now the B & O Railroad Museum) in Baltimore. The famous message was: What hath God wrought (from the Biblical Book of Numbers 23:23: Surely there is no enchantment against Jacob, neither is there any divination against Israel: according to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel, What hath God wrought!).

In November 1621, after the Pilgrims’ first corn harvest proved successful, Governor William Bradford organized a celebratory feast and invited a group of the fledgling colony’s Native American allies, including the Wampanoag chief Massasoit. Now remembered as American’s “first Thanksgiving”—although the Pilgrims themselves may not have used the term at the time—the festival lasted for three days. While no record exists of the historic banquet’s exact menu, the Pilgrim chronicler Edward Winslow wrote in his journal that Governor Bradford sent four men on a “fowling” mission in preparation for the event, and that the Wampanguests arrived bearing five deer. Historians have suggested that many of the dishes were likely prepared using traditional Native American spices and cooking methods. Because the Pilgrims had no oven and the Mayflower’s sugar supply had dwindled by the fall of 1621, the meal did not feature pies, cakes or other desserts, which have become a hallmark of contemporary celebrations.

There are smart dogs, and there are Einstein canines. Mia clearly belongs in the latter category. When a fire engulfed her family’s home in Greenville, S.C., the one-year-old Belgian Malinois opened four doors to make her way to the basement. There, she stood in a cool bathtub that quickly filled with water as firefighters doused the blaze. Mia’s owners, Chris and Codi Brumby, were enjoying dinner out with their two children when they learned of the house fire. After six hours of intense heat, smoke and flames, they assumed Mia had not survived. When she was carried out by firefighters, she was soaked and bewildered, but completely unharmed.